Aug 31, 2023·edited Aug 31, 2023Liked by Isabelle Amy
This really has me thinking...there really is such a push/pull between obscurity and recognition. It's complex for me - I want to be acknowledged and yet I intentionally only allow 20 to follow me on instagram because I fear people creeping in on what is mine.
About a month ago I attended a virtual meeting with an artist I admire (she has real fame and success). There was only about 7 of us in total on the call. She said as she's returning more and more to her authentic self, she'd rather have an audience of 7 people who are reliable and connected and vulnerable with her, than an audience of 7,000 who she fails to connect with...I've been keeping that in mind :)
PS - I too have felt "small" when I read about the MONEY some people make on here
It’s such a trick isn’t it? Researching and thinking about this piece I read something about the way fame is the same as all the other things we hunger for that aren’t so great for us: drugs, sugar, riches, more stuff. We think these things will make us happy, but at best they have no real impact. And in some cases they make us sad. I see the trick and I am working on reminding myself that it’s not what matters, living your life is what matters. It’s literally all there is! Thank you Caroline, for your thoughtful comment, and for reading. ❤️
You are tackling such a big topic here Belle - and doing it with such grace. The search for meaning in our life and purpose in our work is not a cliche, it’s a real quest and artists live at the pointy end of this dilemma, often an uncomfortable place to be. I love, love this piece. Your writing is going from strength to strength.
Every paragraph of this piece hits me deeply. I remember being a little kid and thinking to myself: "if I don't make it big, I'll have failed." I've spent so many years meanly reinforcing that for myself. Getting older, I feel it softening, though. Partly, I think, because I've discovered more and more of what I want to say and so I feel like it's more for me, and less for the audience.
Anyway, I know a lady who is really big and she says it makes her sad--she can't ride the subway (let alone stare at people). She can't let people into her inner world because there's always the fear of an agenda. Writing this, I wonder if the irony of doing good work is in KEEPING a degree of anonymity: ordinariness is an entry-way into lots of places. It's hard to be a keen observer when you're the one being observed...
Isabel, you’re making me think of Alex Mac, remember that show? She could slide under doors as a silvery invisible puddle and she got into all sorts of interesting secret places. That really is the beautiful power of ordinary folks and I can imagine not having it would be so exhausting and suffocating.
And yes, what’s really provoked this piece was this sense that being an ordinary person who “hasn’t made it” is actually fine and wonderful and even great.
I’m so happy we’re substack friends, j’adore you xx
-- (…) “if I don’t make it big, I’ll have failed.” I’ve spent so many years meanly reinforcing that for myself.” – These words are so relatable. Truly. Sometimes, the biggest “agenda” comes from the “Cruella” living inside us, making us doubt and undervalue ourselves. At least, that’s what someone smarter than me once said.
Beautifully written as always, Isabelle, and completely relatable.
"When I first started writing this newsletter my main thought was ‘who cares what you have to say’. But I kept gently reminding myself that if every single maker of books and art and film and music thought that and did nothing the world would be so joyless and cave-cold that it wouldn’t be worth living in. The only saving grace would be the trees and bird song."
Those gentle reminders mean everything. Also worth mentioning...those very same makers of books and art and film and music have probably (most definitely!) thought the same thing.
Always so thankful for you Pam ❤️. Yes, just trying to be gentle with myself and remember that life is for living right now, not endlessly lusting after greener pastures. A work in progress!
Thanks for your thoughts Mark. I’m sure there are lots of wonderful famous people! But I do tend to agree that fame is a rather shallow goal in and of itself.
Having said that, I don’t think we can blame people for lusting after it because I think so many artists see it as a means for a fantastic career. Societally we need to unlearn a lot of the stuff we’ve been taught about fame. But it sounds like you’ve well and truly done that!
Also troglodyte! Thanks for teaching me a new word.
Just caught up with this post and it really resonates with me at the moment. Having a new baby in the house has made me appreciate just how much the algorithm doesn't care about you as a person. Creating for community or for yourself is a pursuit that moves with you through your life stages and adjusts expectations accordingly. But the algorithm doesn't care about your life circumstances. It just wants consistent engaging posts indefinitely with no guarantee of success. The algorithm wants to be your number one priority.
Jono, I feel like you just articulated what I was trying to but with much more elegance and clarity. Yes. The algorithm doesn’t care, it’s the pokies, just keep pulling the lever and maybe, just maybe, you’ll win. But probably not. I’d go so far as to say that the algorithm doesn’t demand any major skill, it demands consistency and quantity. There is almost no room for artistry in 2023, artists used to disappear for months, or years, to write or paint and produce what they hoped was a masterpiece. Imagine doing that now!
I’d love to read more about this from your perspective, especially after having a baby.
Incredible words Bella. It's so lovely to see your commitment to your craft. Irrespective of fame, subscribers or accolades - you're an absolute star. Very honoured to be in that group of 9 you speak to on the phone ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Thank you mon darling Em! Your kind words mean so much, and yes, you will always be one of the 9 people I can bear to speak to on the phone. Love you! X
Thank you Emma! I’m so glad this resonated with you, I always get so anxious hitting send. Always a little stage fright about being too much or too little in some way. So thank you 💓.
“A sense of wonder can find you in many forms, sometimes loudly, sometimes as a whispering, sometimes even hiding inside other feelings.” -- Diane Ackerman.
Thank you for these sensible reflections, Isabelle. Xx.
Thank you Thaissa! A sense of wonder is the most important thing, I really do believe. I'm very thankful for your thoughts and readership, and I am so excited to read your writing!!
This really has me thinking...there really is such a push/pull between obscurity and recognition. It's complex for me - I want to be acknowledged and yet I intentionally only allow 20 to follow me on instagram because I fear people creeping in on what is mine.
About a month ago I attended a virtual meeting with an artist I admire (she has real fame and success). There was only about 7 of us in total on the call. She said as she's returning more and more to her authentic self, she'd rather have an audience of 7 people who are reliable and connected and vulnerable with her, than an audience of 7,000 who she fails to connect with...I've been keeping that in mind :)
PS - I too have felt "small" when I read about the MONEY some people make on here
It’s such a trick isn’t it? Researching and thinking about this piece I read something about the way fame is the same as all the other things we hunger for that aren’t so great for us: drugs, sugar, riches, more stuff. We think these things will make us happy, but at best they have no real impact. And in some cases they make us sad. I see the trick and I am working on reminding myself that it’s not what matters, living your life is what matters. It’s literally all there is! Thank you Caroline, for your thoughtful comment, and for reading. ❤️
-- I didn't even have an Instagram until 06 months ago haha!
*sigh* same...
-- Old and smart souls we are : )
You are tackling such a big topic here Belle - and doing it with such grace. The search for meaning in our life and purpose in our work is not a cliche, it’s a real quest and artists live at the pointy end of this dilemma, often an uncomfortable place to be. I love, love this piece. Your writing is going from strength to strength.
Love you mum, thank you for being such a brilliant editor and cheerleader 📣.
Every paragraph of this piece hits me deeply. I remember being a little kid and thinking to myself: "if I don't make it big, I'll have failed." I've spent so many years meanly reinforcing that for myself. Getting older, I feel it softening, though. Partly, I think, because I've discovered more and more of what I want to say and so I feel like it's more for me, and less for the audience.
Anyway, I know a lady who is really big and she says it makes her sad--she can't ride the subway (let alone stare at people). She can't let people into her inner world because there's always the fear of an agenda. Writing this, I wonder if the irony of doing good work is in KEEPING a degree of anonymity: ordinariness is an entry-way into lots of places. It's hard to be a keen observer when you're the one being observed...
Isabelle, keep writing. I love your work so much.
Isabel, you’re making me think of Alex Mac, remember that show? She could slide under doors as a silvery invisible puddle and she got into all sorts of interesting secret places. That really is the beautiful power of ordinary folks and I can imagine not having it would be so exhausting and suffocating.
And yes, what’s really provoked this piece was this sense that being an ordinary person who “hasn’t made it” is actually fine and wonderful and even great.
I’m so happy we’re substack friends, j’adore you xx
-- (…) “if I don’t make it big, I’ll have failed.” I’ve spent so many years meanly reinforcing that for myself.” – These words are so relatable. Truly. Sometimes, the biggest “agenda” comes from the “Cruella” living inside us, making us doubt and undervalue ourselves. At least, that’s what someone smarter than me once said.
Beautifully written as always, Isabelle, and completely relatable.
"When I first started writing this newsletter my main thought was ‘who cares what you have to say’. But I kept gently reminding myself that if every single maker of books and art and film and music thought that and did nothing the world would be so joyless and cave-cold that it wouldn’t be worth living in. The only saving grace would be the trees and bird song."
Those gentle reminders mean everything. Also worth mentioning...those very same makers of books and art and film and music have probably (most definitely!) thought the same thing.
Always so thankful for you Pam ❤️. Yes, just trying to be gentle with myself and remember that life is for living right now, not endlessly lusting after greener pastures. A work in progress!
Fame is a function of merely garning the majority of your fellow troglodytes.
What you do with it is merely a reflection of your character.
From what I've seen in my 52 years... All those with fame are dead inside.
And those who seek it are not those I associate with...
Thanks for your thoughts Mark. I’m sure there are lots of wonderful famous people! But I do tend to agree that fame is a rather shallow goal in and of itself.
Having said that, I don’t think we can blame people for lusting after it because I think so many artists see it as a means for a fantastic career. Societally we need to unlearn a lot of the stuff we’ve been taught about fame. But it sounds like you’ve well and truly done that!
Also troglodyte! Thanks for teaching me a new word.
Just caught up with this post and it really resonates with me at the moment. Having a new baby in the house has made me appreciate just how much the algorithm doesn't care about you as a person. Creating for community or for yourself is a pursuit that moves with you through your life stages and adjusts expectations accordingly. But the algorithm doesn't care about your life circumstances. It just wants consistent engaging posts indefinitely with no guarantee of success. The algorithm wants to be your number one priority.
Jono, I feel like you just articulated what I was trying to but with much more elegance and clarity. Yes. The algorithm doesn’t care, it’s the pokies, just keep pulling the lever and maybe, just maybe, you’ll win. But probably not. I’d go so far as to say that the algorithm doesn’t demand any major skill, it demands consistency and quantity. There is almost no room for artistry in 2023, artists used to disappear for months, or years, to write or paint and produce what they hoped was a masterpiece. Imagine doing that now!
I’d love to read more about this from your perspective, especially after having a baby.
Your words have an echo and an impact full of many feelings that bring us back to what is inside us.
Thank you Kamal! What a really nice compliment. 💛
I think you articulated very well, it’s always enjoyable to hear what u have to say, very thoughtful as well xx
Thank you dearest Annie! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. xx
Incredible words Bella. It's so lovely to see your commitment to your craft. Irrespective of fame, subscribers or accolades - you're an absolute star. Very honoured to be in that group of 9 you speak to on the phone ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Thank you mon darling Em! Your kind words mean so much, and yes, you will always be one of the 9 people I can bear to speak to on the phone. Love you! X
This is so beautifully written, relatable, and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing these words❤️
Thank you Emma! I’m so glad this resonated with you, I always get so anxious hitting send. Always a little stage fright about being too much or too little in some way. So thank you 💓.
-- Such a beautiful, honest piece.
“A sense of wonder can find you in many forms, sometimes loudly, sometimes as a whispering, sometimes even hiding inside other feelings.” -- Diane Ackerman.
Thank you for these sensible reflections, Isabelle. Xx.
Thank you Thaissa! A sense of wonder is the most important thing, I really do believe. I'm very thankful for your thoughts and readership, and I am so excited to read your writing!!